I Drink to Pass Out I Wake and I Pour Up Again

Life was one big boozy political party for nightlife marketer Trina*, 25 - not-stop highs, and even one-night stands while she was supposed to be working.

She tells author Jeanne Tai why she's done with "party sex".

* Not their real names

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"I've worked in the nightlife industry for three years, doing publicity and marketing for the trendiest clubs in town. I've non simply had my own experiences with "party sex activity", simply I've seen it happen with others as well.

I've watched women go plastered, with guys all over them. I've seen so-called "friends" letting their drunken daughter pals get out the club with men they've only just met. I wouldn't trust a strange guy to take my friend home. Merely what tin can you do? Crap happens.

Party Globe I started clubbing as a educatee, and was smoking and drinking past 17. Because I partied so ofttimes, I met people in the industry who offered me a marketing job at a hot new club afterward I graduated from university. "Why not?", I thought.

I entered a fun, energetic world. It could likewise get pretty crazy. For the by few years, my work routine has been the same: I plan marketing strategies from home in the mean solar day via e-mail, just am at the social club three nights a week to entertain customers and brand certain they're taken care of. This means personally ushering them to their tables, supplying them with drinks, checking that they're enjoying the party, and and so on.

I'm at the social club past 11pm and leave between 3am and 5am. If I'one thousand hosting a guest DJ or human activity, I stay until he finishes his set and am always on manus to go him drinks, ensure his equipment is set upwards and that he's comfy. Almost all the DJs have tried to get into my pants.

They ply me with drinks, and sometimes put their arms around me and try to get me to go back with them. I always say no.

I never knew how much people could brand you potable until I started work. I got high whenever I partied mwith friends, but at work, information technology was something else birthday.

I saw rich customers splurge on seemingly endless rounds of alcohol. Every night, I'd go around the club, stopping at all the tables to mingle with guests. And that'southward when the wild partying would outset. My customers would forcefulness me to drink so much, I was downing the equivalent of two bottles of champagne a night. It'southward difficult to say no - you have to go on people happy or they won't come back and spend.

No one discouraged me from my heavy drinking. My co-workers all understood it was part of the job. Information technology was common for my colleagues and fifty-fifty my bosses to also go boozer by the end of the night while "working". I paid for it in the mornings with terrible hangovers. I'd crawl out of bed with a pounding caput, groaning, "Why am I doing this?"

Altogether hook-up My views nearly sex changed while on the job. I used to retrieve that girls who got drunkard and slept with men were cheap sluts who couldn't control themselves. Just after I got sucked into this world, I realised it was easier said than washed.

There's temptation, at that place'due south alcohol, plus yous run across people hooking up every other night, then it almost seems "normal". More than once, I've seen tipsy women allow guys finger them in the centre of the order.

I had drunken sex twice within my showtime half dozen months at work. Both claw-ups occurred on the task, while I was entertaining customers.

The outset guy was a friend and colleague, Max*. It was my altogether, and I was drinking more than usual - I tin can't remember how much. Basically, I was downing whatever was being offered to me.

The concluding affair I remember was thinking, "I demand to become home now". Later that, my retentivity is an utter blank. The next thing I knew, it was morning. I opened my eyes and plant myself lying in Max'south bed, right next to him. "Crap!" was my first idea.

What a birthday present.

I didn't even remember how we ended upwardly at that place or how the sexual activity went, but it must take happened. Why else would I take been in bed with him?

He'd also been drunk and woke up horrified. "What the hell happened?" nosotros asked each other. Things were awkward for the next few days. We all the same had to face up each other at piece of work, where I avoided talking to him too much. I didn't want him to call up I'd developed romantic feelings for him because I hadn't. I wanted to draw a line.

A few days after, we both sat down and had a talk about what happened. We agreed that it would be nothing more than a one-night stand. In fact, we grew closer later the incident. Perhaps it'southward because we'd been intimate, just more importantly, it helped that we were mature well-nigh the whole affair and didn't end upwardly overanalysing or obsessing over information technology.

I now consider him ane of my best friends. We can talk nigh anything.

Pregnancy scare My second brush with party sex turned out to exist my last. It was with a sometime flame, Eric*. I'd met him years ago, while living abroad for a year. We'd dated for a while but information technology didn't work out and we remained friends.

He worked equally a DJ and, coincidentally, was invited to spin at the club I was working at. I was tasked to host him that dark.

Merely like the start time, I drank like a fish while working and mingling with customers, and ended upward drunk. That, combined with whatever lingering feelings Eric and I had for each other, resulted in me spending the dark at his place. I woke up the next morning time with no memories of the previous night, and Eric lying next to me.

It was the aforementioned story with Max replayed, just that this time, information technology was less awkward as I'd had a thing going on with Eric previously. Plus, I didn't have time to feel "bad-mannered" or remorseful. He had a flight home to catch, and so he apace packed and we left.

I was more worried well-nigh getting pregnant. I wasn't on the Pill and there were no signs that he'd used a condom. I was scared and spent the side by side month worrying about whether anything would happen.

I would check my calendar, counting down to the week when my menstruum was roughly due. The day it finally came, I was so relieved. I'd been so freaked out.

After that scare, I decided to put a stop to my behaviour. Firstly, I didn't want to drink to the point where I blacked out anymore. While no 1 had said anything, I felt it was getting bad for my epitome. Secondly, it was unprofessional equally I had technically hooked up when I was at piece of work on both nights. I couldn't be sure of what I had boozer or how I had behaved, and I was worried nigh how my customers and colleagues would run into me.

And finally, I definitely didn't desire to accept drunken sexual practice again. I was fortunate that both Max and Eric were friends. Till this day, I still feel that it'south an ugly sight to witness a girl getting so drunk she has no idea what she's doing and gets taken advantage of past men - and I run into it all the fourth dimension at piece of work. I ever remember: How would people expect at you? I didn't want to be in that position. As for Eric, we're withal great friends and Skype chat at to the lowest degree thrice a week.

But nosotros've never talked near that night. It'south almost equally if it never happened. And that's how I want to keep it. I think that if you continue domicile on the incident, you'll feel awkward all over once more and you lot'll never get past information technology.

To me, what'due south washed is done. I want to motion on.

Sober and smarter Afterwards those two incidents, I fabricated sure I'd never wind up having drunken sex activity again. I started drinking later in the night, so I could final longer. And if a guest offered me a beverage, I'd take slow sips instead of gulping it down. If y'all end your drink faster, people tend to top it upward. I also constantly drank water to "recover" afterward each glass of alcohol. I too try not to mix my drinks, but it's tough considering my customers purchase me diff erent sorts of alcohol. I'll merely sip a picayune so it won't kick in so fast.

Thanks to all this, I've never passed out or had drunken sexual encounters again. These days, I become through the night on 5 glasses of alcohol, a big drop from when I started. Certain, I get high sometimes, but I'm always conscious. I know what I'm doing. If I've reached my limit, I'll say, "sorry guys, gotta go" and head abode. Controlling your alcohol intake is all in the mind. You shouldn't give in to peer pressure.

I'grand even so in the political party business. Despite how exhausting information technology is, I love my task and I love entertaining. Some people recall women who work in nightlife are cheap and that nosotros sleep around. Simply in fact, because we've seen so much, we know how to protect ourselves. I know my limits now and how not to get into trouble.

I did regret sleeping with Max and Eric initially, but now, I don't because those incidents helped me realise that I never want to do information technology again.

My advice for women who've had party sex: don't waste your time and free energy on regret. Information technology's more of import to learn from your mistakes.

Anyone can say that they regret having drunken sex activity, but and so get plastered once again at another political party and repeat their mistake. They don't learn.

If you really regret hooking upwards, make up your mind that you're going to change something - for instance, watching the amount you drink when you're partying. I do believe you lot have control.

Always be conscientious when y'all're out having a good fourth dimension. Watch your drinks, party with good friends and if y'all exercise hook upward with someone, get protection."

This story was originally published in Her World Dec 2012.

Her World, Singapore'south #1 women's magazine, is now bachelor in both print and digital formats. Log on to www.herworldplus.com to subscribe!

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Source: https://www.asiaone.com/women/i-got-so-drunk-i-dont-remember-having-sex

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